I must be one within

When I love, I experience insecurities, jealousy, competition, loneliness, fear, you name it. When I love with the love God gives me, I know for a fact that it is full, assured, overflowing, selfless, and courageous. Even if things don’t work out, I know for a fact that none of His love I have given goes to waste. Yes it will still hurt very much, but then His love given to me is again multiplied.

Lord, teach me to love. 

He should be smiling in the sun

I was in Penang the week before the last, and then in KL the following week. Well, the reason my family drove to Penang was to attend a funeral service. Although I barely knew Uncle Ooi, he made an impact on me with his courage. Just a week before that, I met him in church and he was the bubbliest that I couldn't tell if this was the uncle whom was diagnosed with cancer; I have only met him once before that. I sat down beside him while he joked & then I noticed his frail body. Before you know it, the next week Uncle Ooi slept and never woke up.

I have this thing that I don't look into coffins. Maybe I'm afraid, I don't know, but I always tell myself that I want to remember you as the last time I saw you. And I remember your smile, your strong laugh, and your healthy dark hair. I think you are amazing, Uncle. 

I then later soaked in more of Jo's fabulousity and tried my best to not be in the way of their daily lives. Most afternoons I would be by the pool working on my tan, trying to play foreigner as much as I could. We ate very good food, hung out, studied, swam, ate very good food, went to Hard Rock, went to church, and ate very good food. 

You see my whole plan was to stay back in Penang, then travel to KL on Wed for Erykah Badu's. My plan was perfect, and exciting. But on Tuesday night, Jo told me of the news she read online about the fuss about Erykah's 'tattoo'. They could be cancelling the damn show. The moment she told me that, I knew the show wasn't gonna go on. 

You see when a person is inferior, all they need is a chance to show you that they are not. I was very surprised to read the many death threats on Facebook. What the heck is happening? I am embarrassed, but I am very glad with the many, especially Muslims, who spoke their minds about this. At least we are gaining something out of it. And I am so relieved to know that Erykah plans to come back.

Anyway, I consoled myself by going for David Sanborn's concert last night. It was in the same Plenary Hall KLCC, where even the furthest seats were more than close & personal enough. I imagined having Erykah within that reach that I could taste her soul.